Friday, 21 December 2012

Christmas preparations - at last!

Perhaps you have to finish work and school term in order to feel Christmassy.

Perhaps you have to finally buy the tree and buy the food from the shops.

Perhaps it simply needs to be the shortest day of the year.

Whatever it is, at long last my 'bah humbug' attitude to Christmas this year is waning and I am being sucked into the magic and mystery of the festive season. I have done my duties - school play, band concert, another band concert, nativity - and now I can relax into it all.

I'm more organised than some years. The Christmas Letter has been drafted but is awaiting my husband's edits before being sent out (yes, it will have to be an email now!) The presents that needed to be sent abroad have gone (yes, they will arrive late but better than not at all?) and the UK presents have been despatched too. In fact, if it weren't for my son's birthday tomorrow (such bad timing on our part!) it would all seem a lot more relaxed. Today's shopping trip was for a birthday cake which, oddly enough, is not what the shops are promoting at this time of year!

One thing I've not made or bought is a Christmas Cake. Below is a recipe my friend sent me, and might just be the one I follow...

Christmas Cake


* 2 cups flour
* 1 block butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 1 bottle wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. 

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. 

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. 

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. 

Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Sunday, 9 December 2012

The gay beaver

"How did the auditions go in drama?" I ask my son after school. The lunchtime drama group is planning a production of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe.

"Oh, fine," comes the typical disinterested response of an 11-year-old boy.

"Do you have a part?"

"Yeah. I'm an animal." (Nuff said!)

"Any particular animal?" I ask.

"Dunno," says my son, already practicing for his teenage years.

"And your friends?"

His face lights up. "Oh, one's a gay beaver!" he declares.

"A gay beaver?" I don't recall this character from my reading of the book.

"Yeah, there are two Mr Beaver's so we've decided he must be a gay beaver."

Not two children sharing one part then? 

Photo credit: Disney, "The Chronicles of Narnia"
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